The F Word

Dear Foodies

First I must apologise for neglecting you. TImes are hard for dinner party dreamers. My daughter is growing up and I find that toddlers are a lot more work than babies. This has not taken me by surprise but it has left scant time for planning extravagant parties or concocting confusing cupcake confections. On top of this, my partner in crime, The Cowboy, has fled the state and the dinner party we'd planned to present to you in February never eventuated. I do have an event in the works and will return to blog about it in just over a week (promise).  But first, I must interrupt my usual programming for an important public announcement.

I am a feminist. In former years I preferred to call my self an 'egalitarian' because my aim is equality (like that of most feminists). But the older I get, the clearer it is to me that there is only one word for what I believe: I am a feminist.

What has brought this on? Why, amidst an ode to my espresso machine and a defense of nutella, would I emerge from months of silence to announce this fact, already well known to all three of you who actually read this blog?

Several events in recent times have been gradually raising the feminist hackles but two things have happened in the past twenty-four hours which spur me to write. The first came to me by way of my husband, who reads me tidbits from his twitter stream and is my main source of political news. Last night in bed he delivered the following: "The governor of Wisconsin is repealing equal pay legislation."

If this doesn't make your skin crawl, please stop reading, go back to your facebook page and defriend me now.  I'm serious. I actually cried. I understand that there are many, too many, places in the world where the war for equality is still raging and the battle for equal pay hasn't even started yet. But in the US, this is a battle we had won. We have held that ground for decades. But we became complacent. We forgot that this was a right we had to win and we took it for granted. And now it has been taken from us. I cannot express to you the despair I feel thinking about this.

The second event was very different. A dear friend updated her own blog with a feminist rant of her own. She made several excellent comments regarding the inequality of gender expectations in our own relatively egalitarian society. However, her opening paragraph contained the following phrase: "It is a rant about ... well, I wouldn't go so far as to say 'feminism'"

This phrase disturbed me deeply. Is feminism 'far'? Is it radical? Is it so out there to declare the simple truth: women are equal to men? It is not. Every person, male, female or other, who believes that all people are equal regardless of gender, should stand up right now and declare: I am a feminist.

Feminism is not only the domain of shouty, bra-burning, hairy hippies or aggressive, emotionless corporate ceiling-smashers. It is not just the realm of humourless hipsters or manic man-haters. Feminism is for every woman who keeps working after marriage, after children. Who gets to decide whether or not to change her name after marriage. Who holds a credit card in her own name. Feminism is for every man who believes himself the equal of his mother, sisters, friends and partner. Feminism is for every person, at every time. If you are commenting about gender inequality. it's not going 'far' to call it feminism because that's what it is. Don't let it become a dirty word. Don't let Wisconsin happen again.

In response to my friend's question about expectations on women, I thought of a quote from my favourite book:
"Our question," continued Mr Honeyfoot, "is, sir, why is no more magic done in England?"
Mr Norrell's small blue eyes grew harder and brighter and his lips tightened as if he were seeking to suppress a great and secret delight within him. Mr Norrell said, "I cannot help you with your question, sir, for I do not understand it. It is a wrong question, sir. Magic is not ended in England. I myself am quite a tolerable practical magician."

I do not understand your question, because it is a wrong one. I myself am quite a tolerable practical egalitarian.

We must stop asking why expectations are unequal. We must stand up and expect right back. We must make our own demands and show that they are not unreasonable. And we must not be afraid to use the f-word.